Real Housewives of Miami: Still Boring, and it’s Joanna Krupa’s Fault!

Last time I blogged about RHOM, I discussed the boring-ness of this season’s housewives.  (Read about it here:

Now, I’m going to continue that discussion, because, even after watching the most recent episode (aired 9/27), in which Joanna Krupa cries hysterically at her fiance Roman’s ten-year anniversary party for his club, Mynt, I STILL think the show is boring, uninteresting, and all the “drama” fabricated.   Ms. Krupa, especially, is a disaster, and I hope she leaves RHOM soon, if RHOM doesn’t get canceled alltogether.

I cannot act. But I can get in a bikini and pose real nice, baby. (Photo by: Mark DeLong/Bravo)

What happened at Mynt: Joanna is celebrating at her fiance’s club.  Her sister, Marta, is there, too.  It turns out Marta’s ex is at Mynt as well, and for some reason (NOBODY KNOWS WHY!), this offends Joanna, because she’s so protective of her sister (even though she doesn’t mind when Roman calls her fat or ridicules her).  Suddenly, Joanna is a tiger mom, pouncing on her fiance for even LETTING Marta’s ex into the club.  “I hate him!” she wails, sobbing uncontrollably.

Why I think Joanna is a problem: the successful model is really bad at delivering lines.  Most of her scenes make me cringe because she’s not a good actress, and she’s clearly playing out a scenario if not reading straight from a script.  I don’t mind the fact that ALL the RH editions feature SOME amount of acting, or forced conflicts, etc, BUT, RHOM goes too far in regards to Joanna, Roman, and Marta, who we are to believe have some sort of ongoing conflict because Joanna’s fiance doesn’t “like’ Marta.  But every single argument between the three people is stiff, staged, and worse, makes no sense!  The viewer has no idea why or how this trio developed a conflict to begin with.  This does not make for good, interesting, or even fun television; it’s like watching the worst reality show in the world (and,  no, RH is NOT as bad as something like Jerseylicious or Russian Dolls (now canceled)).

The reason why storylines involving petty conflicts work on shows like RHONY, is because the conflicts are very specific, if a bit over-dramatized.  Aviva hates Ramona because Ramona pokes holes in her “perfect” world, a world in which she and her husband are always treated like royalty.  As a viewer, we can identify; we’ve either known an Aviva or we’ve known a Ramona, and the arguments are compelling because they are deeply personal and in some ways we DO care about these people, because we recognize them, even if we only recognize them as being similar to villans we’ve met.

Unfortunately for Joanna Krupa, she and her boyfriend have a static, boring relationship, there’s no real conflict between them that doesn’t feel rehearsed, and we could care less about her sister, because she has no personality. The conflicts are not specific enough and the end result is bad bad bad bad bad TV.    Even badder than bad.

One highlight from the episode: the women are chatting about Elsa’s face and Adriana says she look good for her age, and Lisa says, “She does?”  Funny because it’s true.

And this is better than wrinkles? Really?

What’s funnier?  If Lisa keeps letting her husband work on her face, she’ll be in the same boat in forty years!

I’ve only had fifty-two procedures, for God’ sake! Elsa’s had sixty!

Until next time!


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