ANTM Recap: Zombies and THE GREATEST LIVING ACTOR!

Some memorable quotes from America’s Next Top Model (Season 19, Episode 4, aired 9/14):

Alyssa about Victoria: “She’s attached to her (mother’s) tit!”

Tyra about Tyler Perry as the judge for the challenge: “In order to make you the top, I needed to bring the top.  He is the king of doing characters!  Medea?”

Tyra’s advice about acting: “The more over the top you can be, the better.”

Victoria about becoming a zombie for the photo shoot: “I’ve worn some prosthetics for some independent film work, but never like this.”

Brian Boy to ANTM contestants during their photo shoot: “Eat me!”

Destiny during her photo shoot: “I got down on my knees because I wanted to do something different.”

Details:

This is the “acting challenge” episode of the season.  Tyra determines that the best actor currently working in the biz is TYLER PERRY.  TYLER PERRY is apparently in league with Meryl Streep and Daniel Day Lewis as far as his ability to create characters.

“Medea” is my “Sophie’s Choice.”

Acting isn’t about nuance or precision or art!  It’s about being over the top!  This “melodrama over substance” approach to acting has gotten Tyra VERY far in the movie biz, after all!  Hasn’t it?  Oh.  Wait.  It hasn’t .  She was in Life Size.

Wow. Now we know why Lindsay’s acting career is cursed!

After meeting Tyler Perry, the girls are forced to perform a “role” on the streets of Los Angeles.  Destiny is a starstruck tourist, and must chase an African-American man down the street and call “Usher!  Usher!”

Victoria is a Hollywood diva, and she chases an insane man until he physically pushes her, knocking fried chicken and fries out of her hands (why she was carrying fried chicken and fries?  No one knows).  Another problem with being homeschooled: you have no idea that people can be irritated by you, because mommy was always so encouraging.

Kiara wins the challenge for harassing people at a restaurant as they try to eat breakfast and drink coffee.  OVER THE TOP, BABY!

The photo shoot for this episode takes place at Universal Studios, on the set of War of the Worlds.  One of the girls is excited by the fact that AMAZING actor Tom Cruise was here! First Tyler Perry; now Tom Cruise? The last show seemed to be all about “protecting” the rep of Harvard; this episode is about denigrating the art of acting.

Before the shoot, Victoria mentions her previous independent film work.  All I can imagine is some weird Christian film in which she had to wear a prosthetic hunchback or something.

The girls grunt, growl, and lurch their way through the photo shoot, and at judging, Tyra tells them that the more oozing sores in the photos, the better.  She has a fetish, I guess.

Give me the flesh of the young so I can be young too!

Tyra busts out the tape measure while talking to Natasia about her photo.  She doesn’t believe the model is 5′ 9″.  First, they humiliate the girls by forcing them to act out on the streets of L.A and pose with oozing sores, then they measure them like cattle.  You’re all about human dignity, Tyra.

Laura wins best photo, and Destiny is sent home.

Lessons: Tyler Perry and Tom Cruise are amazing actors.  Sores=good.

Until next time!

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